I am somewhat of an introvert. Conversation is hard for me. It does not come easy by any means. Well actually, two means it comes easy. That is all though. Only two. One: I can stand in a room full of students and speak, demanding attention, threading my words together. Two, if I am sitting with my college roommates or other close friend, conversation is contagious, but without the hat of teacher or the comfort of familiar connection, my brain goes blank.
Most would think that there is nothing going on upstairs for me if they walked up to start a conversation, but it is actually quite the opposite. My mind is spinning with options to spark conversation. I have an internal dialogue that says: Pick this topic. Oh wait. Is that considered offensive? Is that politically correct? What would they think of me? Wait, I’ve said this before. That does not have an easy connection or flow. I give up. Smile. Just remember to smile. I love people that can carry a conversation because it means I get to sit back and only smile. Thank you to those gregarious people out there. You make it easy. But, something happened to me the other day that was simple, mundane and ordinary, but is sparked this thought. There is crazy power in conversation.
It happened at a local coffee shop in Dripping Springs called Mazama. A kind lady with a sweet smile and brown eyes came up to me and said that my tag was showing on my shirt. That was it. It was amazing. My cheeks started to rise into a smile. The temperature in my heart literally rose (well, maybe not literally) at the thought of her kind gesture of honesty and bravery to start a conversation. Her one simple sentence showed me such kindness and I felt an instant connection. While she saved me from embarrassment of everyone realizing I shop almost only from clearance (I guess the cat it out of the bag now), it was more than that. Because I can only spark conversation easily with my students in my classroom, the ones whom I love so dearly, and my best friends, it was like she had chosen me to be one of her people. She wanted to connect with me. This small, simple conversation inside that coffee house felt almost holy, and depending on how much you think coffee is sacred, that might sound odd. But, upon further reflection, maybe it is not that odd a thought. Think of all the times Jesus had teaching that sparked through simple conversation. What richness do we have in the Bible that is the result of a simple conversation started? Jesus did not do all his teaching to his students in a classroom or his best friends over chips and queso. Jesus made conversation. He talked with people. All people. Strangers. Enemies.
I am here today to thank the lady in the coffee house for helping me to see the emotional and spiritual effect of a conversation (and thank you Jesus, duh!). I am also here writing today to put it down on paper that I am going to try harder to create conversations, and to switch of that internal dialogue. If I am going to ever wield the power of conversation, I must first turn off that internal dialogue that is all about me. What will I say? What will they think of me? Instead, I want my dialogue to be: How can I make that person feel joy? How can I show them love? In what way can I brighten their day?
This will not be easy, but this blog is a start.
Thank you coffee. Thank you kind lady. Thank you Jesus.