My Longwinded Writing Debut

My mind seems to race faster than my hands on the keys of my rundown computer. For the longest time, I have told myself I will start writing once I finally get my new laptop. About two years later, I have decided to scurry my fingers across the dirty keys of my used-to-be-white Macbook, circa 2010. The new computer will come later. So. Here I am. It has always been a dream of mine to become a writer. My journey here is a little long winded.

In my early school years, I was always praised for my writing abilities. Although: second thought. I might have just been praised for my effort and respect for a good ‘ol fashioned work ethic. I was one of those students that waited for directions just to follow them, and, for the sake of the teacher, the directions were best served specific, very, very specific, or annoying questioning would quickly ensue. How was a gal supposed to be the perfect student (not possible my fellow perfectionists) without clear directions? Moving on. I hope you have a little better vision of who I am as a person (cough, cough, type-A). Now, my goal is to try to explain how I began writing, so fast forward through my time served as Editor-in-Chief of the school Newspaper, straight-A’s and 13 years of public education in a small, quaint Texas town, it came time for me to make the big move (actually just an hour move, but stay with me). I would be going to the best place on earth, the place where dreams are made and the journey to become a world-changer begins: The University of Texas at Austin (Hook ‘em Horns, y’all).

I began college as a Journalism major. My aim was to go out, write, be creative and become the next real-life version of Mel Gibson from What Women Want. Yes, this is what I thought until I took my first advertising class, and I realized I was much more small-town, simple gal than big-city, career ladder-climber. Next thing I knew, I found myself changing majors. I declared myself an English major and joined an amazing teaching program, UTeach. I know that God ordained this destiny. My talents were just too perfect not to be. The most important: I love kids. Also, my years spent as an only child (my entire lifetime) in which I reigned with complete control paid off: you must be a little bit of a control freak in order to survive as teacher. I love organization. I have a strong backbone and high expectations when it comes to discipline. Also, I love books. I consider myself a great communicator. And on, and on, and on. For fear of sounding too conceited, I will move beyond this point, but I promise you, God really did make me to be a teacher. This I am sure of. Now fast forward again to present time, I graduated from UT, and I have been teaching middle school English for two years in the same middle school I attended school in myself. It has been a hard, arduous, painful, heartbreaking but exhilarating road, but it fills my tank. I am never running on E because God paved this road for me. I am not saying this road will never change directions or conditions; I am ready for detours and rocky paths ahead. I am ready. I am a teacher living out His plan. Hear me roar. All this being said, I think he has more. This is where this whole writing thing comes in.

I think he wants my voice to grow bigger. He has given me my classroom platform, but I think there is more to His plan. I feel it. It is not specific, and this is very scary to me. Remember that student that needed very specific directions in order to function and not go into complete system failure? It is Unknown, but I know (yes, I know), that there is something more I need to be doing. I do not know what will come of my writing, maybe it is small, but I need to write.

Now, when I started writing this, I said one thing was holding me back: my computer. This is true, but the other thing holding me back is the question: what is my voice supposed to be? The idea of writing is confusing to me because I am unsure whom to write as. Am I writing as a professional educator, a woman who believes in God and loves Jesus, a soon-to-be wife, a daughter, a book lover, a fiction writer, a shopping addict? That list continues. There is a lot to me. The word multifaceted comes to mind.

Then, as I write here right now, without an answer planned out ahead of time, an answer comes to me. I write as all of those. I write as me. My mission being what it has always been my entire life: work hard and be kind. I want my writing to serve as something positive and uplifting, and I want to put my hard work and effort into the words that I craft.

So, today marks the day that I begin (my heart races).

There are a few people, that unbeknownst to them, have got me to put pen to paper (well, actually, fingers to keyboard).

Glennon Melton

Jen Hatmaker

Angie Smith

Jennie Allen

Shirlene Bridgewater

Gene Glaeser

These are the people that have just recently been somehow speaking to me to write.

Glennon Melton. She really is a warrior, and I am proudly serving as one of her monkees. If you do not catch this reference, please Google her. Revere her words. Her soul. Her. She is so amazing, and I want to breathe in every word she writes.

Jen Hatmaker. I forget how I discovered Jen first. Reality TV, the If: Gathering Conference or her books. Either way, she makes my soul smile. She is kind, funny, and oh so real. Can we please be best friends?

Angie Smith. I met her through a live streaming of the 2015 If: Gathering Conference. She blew me away, and I wanted to embody her energy/be her friend. Then, just recently, I picked up her book Chasing God, and God spoke to me. The words on her page were answers to prayers I had been pleading. Pick up her book. Now.

Jennie Allen. She gave me If: Gathering. She set me on fire.

Shirlene Bridgewater, the only one of the list that I currently have a relationship with, is my former English teacher. She began is all. She told me that I would make a great teacher. She also has such a beautifully created brain that works her hand to craft beautiful language on the page. I look up to her. She inspires passion, but also, if I am being honest, a little bit of fear. I am still trying to be that perfect student to her.

Gene Glaeser is the amazing teaching pastor at Lakeshores Church in Marble Falls, TX. He preaches each Sunday, and every week I feel ready to embrace fear. Again. Again. Again. No, really, I can hard things with the assurance that great things are ahead. I can be a Christ-follower who is bold and courageous. I am trying. I fail, but then I get another great Sunday sermon from Gene, and again I try.

So here I am world. Here is my writing debut.

#writing #JenHatmaker #GlennonDoyleMelton #JennieAllen #inspiration #AngieSmith #faith #HisPlan